Saturday 26 March 2011

diirrrrty motherplucker

This is a volatile love affair between a young woman and her own goddamn face.



Envy is the most primary of all secondary emotions. Commonly contemplated as a negative amalgam of anger, anxiety and disgust, this sensational despair is regularly procured from a lack of self confidence and often, potently, leads to bitter unhappiness by constantly engaging in harmful, social comparison . The green eyed monster exhorts a desire for the seemingly unattainable and, being observed in infants as young as five months old,  it is recognised as an instinctive sensation within our natural programming.

So, what reason befalls my rambling, reputedly insignificant explanation, i hear you ask.....? Well, this instant boasts a momentous occasion in my life as i make a revolutionary admission to the world; I was a victim of Brow Envy.



This condition affects a harsh percentage of the public, with sufferers generally encountering  a dominating jealousy of others' perfect eyebrows. The severity of symptoms ranges with each individual plight but often involves timely examinations of follicular growth, excessive investigations of natural remedies and constant pining over megan fox's perfect arch.  My endurance of Brow Envy was harrowing and tortuous and, only now in the midst of recovery, am i prepared to revisit the subjection in order to aid others on a similar downfall, craving eyebrow perfection.

Eyebrows structure and align features, whilst adding symmetry the portrait, however, in terms of anatomy, this thick line of sensitive hair exists to communicate expression and mainly to prevent debris from falling into the eye socket. Nevertheless, from the dawn of the twentieth century, it has been a common attribute of modern society to modify the eyebrows. Fashions have moved in and out of decade-led trends as seen prominently from the 1920s barely there bow-line, running towards the temple, as well as the 1950s pin-up style which was thickened for exaggerated structure. The 1980s beheld a statement brow and, excluding a brief period of over-plucked terror in the 1990s, generally drew a curve for natural beauty in today's ideal.



Perfection is subjective but guidelines advise eyebrow structure to naturally follow face-shape to be conventionally lust-worthy; maintaining moderate thickness, carefully groomed with a slight arch to enhance bone structure and add firmness to the complexion. Attentive shaping magnetically transforms appearance, determining cleanliness, high fashion identity and sensually curtaining the windows to your soul.

My endeavour for the perfect brow moved bitterly towards a six year struggle of earnestly enduring an over-plucked mess which added ageing severity and unkempt disorder to my saddened grimace. I followed an incessant routine of regular exfoliation and massaging the area with  an abundance of, sometimes  farcical, natural regrowth remedies. In desperation, success ironically anticipated in locating patience, acknowledging the true worth of physical appearance thus contently surrendering to my own face.

So, if like me, you dramatically hanker for that coveted arch, just friggin stop it. Anyone who cares, will be gravely pre-occupied with their own damn eyebrow-peril.



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