When my alarm went off last Tuesday morning, two things sprung to mind to wake me fully from that sleepy i-want-to-stay-in-bed daze; Met Gala and job interview. But Met Gala first.
I turned on my computer and cursed my slow internet, waiting for pictures to load on the Daily Mail website. "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!" I shouted at the screen before suddenly catching a glimpse of Beyonce in a frothy Givenchy dress.
It looked like she'd been shat on by a moth. I was disappointed, closed the computer screen and decided to deal with it later.
When I got home later, I started again with opening the laptop and the cursing of the internet but put the Beyonce mess behind me. Then I saw Anja Rubik the area surrounding her vagina. Boke
The Met Gala epitomises red carpet glamour, retaining the same poise and prestige from year to year so I just couldn't give up on it yet. It was just two bad dresses, maybe I had to dig for the gold.
So I got my shovel and waded through the shit; January Jones, no. Mary-Kate Olsen, a big tanned no. Leighton Meester, dress blending into skin, no. Florence Welsh, toilet roll no.
But then something began to twinkle. Lana Del Rey, with smooth retro waves and a blood red lip, twirled in a black cape that draped elegantly over her glittering chainmail dress. In custom Altuzarra she was an old Hollywood siren, smouldering with her predatory gaze and guiding me toward the light, toward more decent dresses.
This year's exhibition, Elsa Shiaparelli and Miuccia Prada: Impossible Conversations, promised Prada -a-plenty. Kate Bosworth was among those to honour the designer. In her short feathered flapper Prada dress, Kate was dauntless and unaffected by the sea of ballgowns.
Dianna Agron has carved out a permanent place on my best-dressed list. She is able to swing from colour to colour by teaming it with simple hair and make-up and flattering proportions. She is flawless this emerald Carolina Hererra gown with 1950s teased locks.
I know, this is a bit what the fuck did you do with granny's wallpaper but I love Sarah Jessica Parker in Valentino Haute Couture. Although patterned and full length and with matching shoes, I don't find the dress to be dense or overwhelming. I think the colours are elegant and the bow gives it a soft ladylike quality that kind of works.
Rooney Mara has geisha-like poise in this gothic leather and lace Givenchy dress. The slicked back hair and her angular features should add severity but Rooney still manages to appear ethereal and soft.
And in case you're wondering, I got the job :)